Why Arsenal fans are wrong about Samir Nasri

Samir Nasri will be missed…

Many Arsenal fans are stating on twitter, or in the more traditional discussion forums such as the pub, that Samir Nasri only had 6 good months with them out of three years, and they’ll be selling at a profit – so good riddance. Add an unhealthy dose of abusive chanting at a Newcastle away game, and you’d start to think that Nasri was the worst player ever to have pulled on a red and white shirt.

Death, taxes... and hatred in football

Death, taxes, and hatred in football.

Nanana nanananana-nana Sami you’re a cunt, you’re a cunt, Sami you’re cunt!

Sergio Aguero is... Diego Maradona

“So Sergio! How are you lad? Tell us a little bit about who you’re going to be performing as tonight”

“Well, I’m keeping it in the family tonight Matthew.”

“Oh yes? You’re from the rural part of Argentina are you?”

“No, I’m from Quilmes. What’re you trying to say? I’m from Bueno Aires” Sergio Aguero stands up, sees that he’s even shorter, and jumps back on his stool.

Romelu Lukaku is..... Didier Drogba

"Tell us about the person you're going to be tonight Romelu."

"The person I'm going to be tonight Matthew, was originally born in Adijan, Cote d'Ivoire. He made his name in the French league, but was a relatively late bloomer. He moved to Chelsea in July 2004 for £24 million, after winning Player of the Year as a Marseille player. He's a bit of a battering ram, but he falls over quite a fair bit. His biggest claim to fame is that he's scored more goals than any other foreign player for Chelsea, and he was named one of Time magazine's 100 most influental people for his peacemaking efforts in his home country."

"Well Romelu, he's quite well known isn't he? Bit of a superstar isn't he? We're all guessing. Go on then, put us all out of our misery. Tell us who you're going to be tonight."

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be.... Didier Drobga!

"Didier Drogba!!! Well he's got the build hasn't he? Let's hope he can score some great goals without ever screaming at the camera whilst wearing flip-flops after a contentious European defeat. Tonight, playing live - Romelu Lukaku is... Didier Drogba!"

The Empty Room #4 - John Terry

England's Brave John Terry

The Empty room #3 - Duncan Ferguson

The Big Man – Duncan Ferguson

A few words of advice to any budding burglar. Stay the fuck away from Big Dunc’s house. The plush Merseyside residences of many a Liverpool and Everton star have been the target for the more scrupulous of the unscrupulous. Rich pickings are there to be had – you could even watch the player in action on one of their plasma screens, safe in the knowledge that it’ll be hours before they get back. There are of course, episodes where crime doesn’t pay. In fact, there are two well documented episodes where crime only results in a trip to casualty on the way to the cop shop.

Michael Owen / Antonio Nunez + £11M

An interesting one this… no, bear with me.

Michael Owen had been Livepool’s top goalscorer in every season since his debut in 1997-98, when he came on as a sub against Wimbledon and scared the living shit out of me and all fellow Dons present. People now see him warming the bench for Manchester United, and perhaps it’s fair enough to criticise him when he’s been quoted (On twitter) saying “Just to answer some of your tweets. Prefer playing less often in a top team than every game in a poor team. Been there a didn’t enjoy it” – great way to put noses out of joint – but come one, in the late nineties and early noughties HE WAS INCREDIBLE.