Transfer Deadline Day: Winners, Losers, Users and Abusers.

WINNER:
Joe Cole? He's got his favourite number on 26 his shirt again, and has made the short hop over the channel to France, joining league champions Lille on loan for the rest of the season. Poor old Joe Cole - one of our favourite players here at The Frustrated Footballer, despite his obvious skill. Joey's got what Liverpool aint this season - Champions League football. French football is on the up again. Not because of Joe Cole, well not entirely because of Joe Cole. On a perhaps more sour note, Lille had failed in bids for Chu Young-Park and Yossi Benayoun before landing Cole. Hopefully England's forgotten playmaker will find his feet in France, get a lot of games, and rediscover the form that made him one of the most exciting talents in english football - what? 10 YEARS AGO? MORE? Christ!

Reports that Joe Cole has been quoted saying that Lille are his boyhood club and "it's a dream come true" are as yet, unconfirmed.

Yaya Toure - The most offensive defensive midfielder.

Not offensive as in he’s rude, or inappropriate or anything like that. Offensive as in attacking, I’ve utilised the word more commonly used to describe Grid-Iron, in an attempt to make a catchy title. If you’ve read down to here and leave now, it was still worth it. I live for hits.

Romelu Lukaku is..... Didier Drogba

"Tell us about the person you're going to be tonight Romelu."

"The person I'm going to be tonight Matthew, was originally born in Adijan, Cote d'Ivoire. He made his name in the French league, but was a relatively late bloomer. He moved to Chelsea in July 2004 for £24 million, after winning Player of the Year as a Marseille player. He's a bit of a battering ram, but he falls over quite a fair bit. His biggest claim to fame is that he's scored more goals than any other foreign player for Chelsea, and he was named one of Time magazine's 100 most influental people for his peacemaking efforts in his home country."

"Well Romelu, he's quite well known isn't he? Bit of a superstar isn't he? We're all guessing. Go on then, put us all out of our misery. Tell us who you're going to be tonight."

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be.... Didier Drobga!

"Didier Drogba!!! Well he's got the build hasn't he? Let's hope he can score some great goals without ever screaming at the camera whilst wearing flip-flops after a contentious European defeat. Tonight, playing live - Romelu Lukaku is... Didier Drogba!"